How come I’m not as successful as I want to be?

Your Thinking and Behaviour

Have you ever found yourself thinking that that no matter how hard you work, you never attain the success you strive for?

Or felt that only when you are good enough will you finally start that business or go for that promotion?

Each of us has a different definition of ‘success’ – it may be more money, a big house or boat, a nice car, career progression, time to do what you want, holidays, or a combination of all, or something completely different.

Most of us believe that:

We must HAVE things (more money, more love, more time, be good enough)

So then we can DO something important (start that business, go on that holiday, buy that house), and

Then we will BE what we truly wanted (happiness, fulfilment, in love, career progression).

I don’t know about you, but over the years, I’ve realised that this doesn’t work. Having those things doesn’t result in us being that way.

It actually works the other way around.

Firstly, we must have a very clear picture of what we want to HAVE – our goal. If you don’t have a goal, how do you know when you have achieved your success?

A lot of people then get caught up in the DOING. We can spend many hours working towards our goal, but still we may fall short of reaching our success and never quite get there – it may be illusive, always changing, always out of reach.

So why, for many of us, does success stay out of reach?

It’s because the question is ‘Who do you need to BE”, not “What do I need to DO”?

What kind of person achieves the outcomes I want? What are the qualities of that person? Their beliefs, rituals and values? What are their non-negotiable rules and boundaries? How do they dress? What habits and strategies do they have?

Do you have the traits to be the person to deliver the success you want? Can you BE that kind of person, consistently with 100% commitment?

Are you able to be the person or do you have gaps that prevent you from truly achieving your dreams? What action do you need to take to fill those gaps?

There will always be people that have achieved the success you want in the way you want to achieve it. Who do you need to model to create the same result?

If you can BE that person, then you can have access to the same success they HAVE.

No matter how hard we work, if we continue to BE the same person with the same habits and strategies, and do things in the same way, we will get the same results.

Once you have worked out who you are BEING, then the next step is to work out what you need to DO to achieve the goal. This involves action, choices and making decisions.

You will need to examine your past and current habits in order to understand how they are creating your current results.

Then focus on what habits do you must consistently create to achieve outcomes you want, such as exercise, money, relationships, study, dress, acts, behaviours etc).

HAVE

The results of your Being and Doing will be what success you HAVE.

Remember: It’s not

HAVE,DO,BE

IT’S

BE,DO, HAVE

It’s not ‘when you are good enough will you finally start that business or go for that promotion’, it’s

BE (I am a … eg executive/leader/manager), then DO something about (upskill, training, network, use feedback), and then you’ll eventually HAVE (a executive/leadership/managerial) role.

So, who do you need to BE, to be able to Do what needs to be done, to HAVE the success you want?

This is the first step in setting yourself up for truly sustainable success.

So, remember it’s not ‘when you are good enough will you finally start that business or go for that promotion’, it’s

BE (I am a … eg executive/leader/manager), then DO something about (upskill, training, network, use feedback), and then you’ll eventually HAVE (a executive/leadership/managerial) role.

“The difference between who you are and who you want to be is … is what you do.”
~ Anon

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