The person who sees possibilities, options and opportunities will have an increased capacity to achieve their goals and desired results.

I think of this like above the line and below the line thinking we discussed back at the beginning of the course.

When you blame the world around you and play the victim, you are fearful of failure, you are below the line. Your ego keeps you safe and secure. But you can’t change and grow. You are stuck.

What about choices, results, personal accountability?

Then you are above the line. You love failure and feedback, you see choice, accountability, results. You are growing and stepping outside your comfort zone and taking life and thriving.

The person with the most flexibility has the more choices, and therefore more influence over systems, situations, events etc.

If your actions are not producing the results you want, then you can simply adapt and change your behaviour and do things differently until you achieve your results.

In other words, we must be able to change readily to meet new circumstances.

Every one of us is responsible for our own life. We may not be able to control external events (what happens to us, around us or to others), but we are capable of controlling our reactions and responses to those events.

And if we keep reacting and responding in the same way, we will always get the same result.

A person with flexibility will change their behaviour repeatedly whenever something isn’t working.

They do something new until they achieve their goal, or realise they are seeking something else through the learning they acquire from the first attempt.

Therefore, it’s important to note that flexibility applies to our thinking as much as it does to our behaviour.

So, what result are you looking for, what action are you taking, what results are you noticing, and if it’s not the result you’re looking for what do you need to do differently?

Focus on the Vision, but be Flexible on the Details

Think of your goals as the destination and the various actions, habits and strategies as your vehicles.

Numerous potential vehicles can help you arrive at your desired destination; the key lies in finding the right ones uniquely suited to you.

Successful people are stubborn with what they want, but they understand that arriving at the end destination will involve detours and unexpected side roads to explore.

 What gets you to point A won’t necessarily get you to point B.

As you keep growing and progressing, you need to continually evolve and be open to new ideas. If you don’t or aren’t, then you could miss opportunities and further extend your timeline.

Let go of your ego, and let go of fear.

Take the example given by Susan David, author of “Emotional Agility” in the Harvard Business Review.

She describes Jeffrey, who gets angry at work, with his boss, with his team, when they don’t behave entirely as he thinks they should.

When Jeffrey tries to suppress his anger, he’s left feeling that he hasn’t been able to bring his whole self to work. So he’s less effective and of course even angrier.

She advises that Jeffrey needs to detach from the feelings and label them. So “my colleague makes me furious” becomes “I’m having the thought that my colleague is wrong and am feeling angry about it”. Detached and labelled, it is easier to deal with.

You can even ask yourself, “What if I could stop being so angry with them?” Or maybe, “What if I am just angry because I can’t control my colleague and I don’t like their approach, but they might have a point?”

No-one is suggesting that this is easy. If you can pivot emotionally however, you are more open to pragmatic solutions. You are more likely to achieve the results you want, accept that you and others can change and create an environment where everyone can flourish.

Emotional flexibility is crucial for next level leadership – of yourself and others.

A lot of us find it challenging to connect with our emotions.

It is easier and safer to just keep going, regardless of what our body tells us.

But when we listen to our bodies – through overwhelm, frustration, anger or sadness, whatever it is – the more we acknowledge the emotions and feel them – yes actually feel them, then the better we can lead ourselves, and then others.

For example, I feel sad. I’m going to sit with it and feel it. I’m not going to numb it with alcohol, food or busyness. Just sit with the emotion and allow it in.

Allow them to fill up my body and experience the full range of emotions – to laugh, cry, scream.

The more we bottle up or numb our emotions, they more they fester and control our lives. We continually run away from them rather than processing and feeling them fully.

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